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I've had a look through my old sketchbook today, the one that houses some of the images I am most proud of amongst all my creations. Some of these pictures are more than four years old, and now that I think about it, I haven't really drawn at all in the past two. Whenever I came across a good one, I found myself thinking, "did I really draw that?", immediately followed by "I could never do that today". Some of them are unfinished, and I am tempted to fill in the blanks... but I'm afraid to touch them. Too scared that I might ruin what I started.

There is a single last page left empty in that sketchbook that I have never had the courage to fill, for fear that it might not be perfect. For how could anything less do in the company of my oldtime favourites?

The irony is that I have held off buying a new sketchbook (after all, the old one isn't full yet) for ages now, so I carry this blank page around with me wherever I go, and when I feel like drawing I stare at it instead, paralysed by my own expectations. I am used to spending hours infront of an empty sheet trying to decide what I'm going to draw by now. The more painful sort of art block is knowing exactly what you want to draw, but being unable to. I have an entire backlog of ideas, visions I want to put to paper, but I feel I lack the abilities and the talent to do them justice.

So this is the sad truth about why I have hardly uploaded any drawings in several years. This has been going on for a long time now, but I have just today found the means to put it into words.

deviantID

Saerileth
Bumblebee
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Switzerland
Huh. Just crazy me. Trying to be a serious Artist, while struggling with art block and lack of talent at times.

I'm studying computer sciences at the moment, I've got two sisters and the most gorgeous boyfriend in the world (I do hope he never reads this), and I love my two cats.

Favourite style of art: Fantasy
Skin of choice: Eh... mine. I'm not into skinning people. :P
Favourite cartoon character: Garfield, Simon's Cat
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:iconsalsolastock:
We appreciate that you are watching us.  We'll try not to pick our noses or anything. ;)
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:iconshadowedacolyte:
Thanks very much for collecting one of my recent piece. I really appreciate it!
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:iconsaerileth:
Saerileth Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. It's beautiful. :)
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:iconalistu:
Alistu Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Many Happy Returns!
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:iconsaerileth:
Saerileth Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! How are you?
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:iconalistu:
Alistu Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Exhausted from the heat.
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:iconsaerileth:
Saerileth Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this weather! Couldn't wait to see the sun again after this depressing spring.
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(1 Reply)
:iconbonecarverpm:
Bonecarverpm Jul 17, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Happy Birthday and many HUGS!!!
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:iconsaerileth:
Saerileth Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :)
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:iconmarija-buljeta:
Marija-Buljeta May 29, 2013  Professional Photographer
thanks for the watch :)
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